out with the girls in my group chat at my favorite pregame spot and THE williamsburg birthday party bar

It’s the first iteration of Night Out! And to be honest, I’m still fucking with the format. I love writing personal essays about my dating life…I did it pretty publicly in the New York Times (and got banned from Raya oops) and continue to in Cosmo, but I’ve never tried to capture, in real-time, what it feels like to be out on the town, flirting up a storm (or failing to flirt) in New York City. That’s what dreams are made of! Specifically my dreams when, as a young New Jersey Jew, I had an NYC-themed Bat Mitzvah - called Jenny From the Block - at a venue literally across the Hudson in New Jersey.

Hopefully this project will help girls everywhere know what to do on their precious nights out. Because if we’re gonna do the whole going-out-hair-make-up-outfit-uber-back-and-forth-text-a-crush-to-see-where-they’re-going-don’t-hear-from-them-until-1am-thing, it should actually be fun! Let me go to the places you’ve heard about, test them out, and come back with a game plan…so you don’t have to waste your time.

And if I meet a husband…perk of the job. I’m tired of swiping, and everyone I’m seeing on the dating apps these days is the bottom of the barrel, as in I’m convinced they actually, physically live in a barrel at the bottom of the Gowanus Canal.

... "phenomenal intimacy" ...

But I do genuinely hope they find love xoxo.

Before I go demon party mode, I wanted to start small and establish a baseline. My most classic night out, the night that I’ve had 1,000x over, is with the girls in my group chat. It starts at a comedy show or at my signature bar or in this case, *a comedy show at my signature bar* (a 2-for-1), and ends at a comedian’s birthday party.

THE STATS

• Day of the Week: Friday

• Neighborhood: Williamsburg

• The Crew: The Sandussies (the name is inspired by when sand gets into a p*ssy), my comedian girlies group chat - Glennis, Joan, Rylan, and Rebecca - and guy comedians (triggering!) - Glennis’s BF Dan, Justin, Sean, and Devin.

• The Fit: A milkmaid boob sundress-sundress that I rented from FashionPass (the slutty clothing rental company for future Bachelor contestants - use code JENNY2U for $35 off xo) with short converse to show I’m *casual.* The vibe was Hansel and Gretel if she were a Jewish American Princess.

• Home By: 1:32am

We started the night at my favorite bar, which not only has an amazing happy hour ($5 wine on M-F before 7pm!), the best bartenders, and a spacious backyard, but is also one of the cutest performance venues for comedy and music in this whole city. Then we headed to THE Williamsburg birthday party bar. The only place I know with enough real estate to have five competing Gemini birthday parties at once…