As a woman in her late 20’s…32, I’m sleepier than ever. But as a former Jersey Girl, the need to go out is deep within me (next to the belly button ring). While I have the energy, how dare I stay home on a Saturday night binging Grey’s Anatomy when I live in the city that never sleeps!? Especially when I’m single and, like everyone else, tired of swiping. Time is running out to meet my future first husband and father of my children… praying he’s at the bar.
NIGHT OUT will answer the question “where should I go out tonight?!” as I search for The Perfect Night™, ranking every bar, club, and backroom’s:
Aesthetic
Wait Time
Husband Material
Yummy-ness
Shaking Ass Factor
Special Girls Room Report
Final Bar Tab
Was My Hangover Worth It?
I’m just a regular girl - I’m not on the list (hello! I'd love to be on the list) - going to the must-go places. How many tries for me to get into The Box? We’re taking bets. And I’ll bring special guests, comedians and NYC darlings, out with me and give you a peek into our night.
buy me a drink!
Paid subscribers will get a play by play of my night out with all of the juicy details and my full honest review of whether it was worth it or if I should have stayed in and put on my retinol. Bonus, you’ll be helping to buy a round and get me home safe because all contributions are going straight to my drinks and uber fund.
tell me where to go!
Is there somewhere you’ve heard of that you’ve always wanted to try? Let me be your drunk little guinea pig. Comment, DM, or email me and let me know where to go!
Will I meet my husband? Get into the DJ booth? Remember to brush my teeth!? My therapist thinks this is a bad idea for my mental health and only time will tell.
Chin chin!
xJG
Jenny Gorelick is a comedian and writer. She's been called an “ever-charming host” and "crushworthy comedian" by Time Out New York. Her essays have been featured in the New York Times’ Modern Love column, Cosmopolitan, McSweeney’s, and the New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs. She never says no to a tequila shot.
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